Sad Recollections

From a proposal of marriage I spent

23 years of love and devotion,

problems & challenges we had our share

but to the full extent I had no notion.

The day she announced

her intent to divorce

another step in my journey

down a long rocky painful course.

Such a fool I was in believing

all her notes and cards,

so many I love yous now

turned to shrapnel and shards.

So off I must go

all alone once more,

with pains so great

felt down to my core.

Maybe it would help

if I new the true reasons,

but her mind is delusional

and her body changing seasons.

A mother-in-law I adored

that I’d do anything for

tells me to get over it

and points me to the door.

A step daughter I loved

and treated as my own,

now treats me like scum

or from the devils throne.

Her husband a person

having his own baggage and scars,

obnoxious and self centered

treating others like used cars.

Takes them for a ride

and gets out of them what he can,

then forgets about loyalty

to toss them aside for the next scam.

It’s too bad about his uncle

and the things they did share,

even sadder his wife and her mother

can’t keep his secret in repair.

All too often I had to

listen to stories and endure,

about his wife’s special talents

and her sexual allure.

Out of this cast of

broken people and lives,

there came two flowers

with innocent love in their eyes.

First came Karissa with

the heart of an angel,

followed by James with

a soul of a warrior.

With the best intentions

we entered our place of Eden,

but through fate and destiny

it’s all gone to hell.

It’s them I still love and miss

that I long to hold,

but they’re kept out of reach

and I fear what they’re told.

Tainted by hatred and lies

that God holds them close to

fly like eagles in the skies.

How could I forget them

that will never be,

I will always love those two

as a special part of me.

Gary R. Cramer

April 1, 2004

My Sweet Beth

I’ve helped give her a home

asked her to take my name,

given her a stone from which

the moon she could aim.

I’ve traveled across miles

to join with her loved ones,

accepted them as my own

closer than parents with son.

I’ve lover her and held her

and tried to be good,

when I thought it was needed

like Gibraltar I stood.

Together we’ve laughed

and as one we’ve cried,

God can be my witness

I know that I’ve tried.

I wish to make her happy

I want to make her a queen,

but with all my love and efforts

she has a sadness I have seen.

When she says she loves me

it brings joy to my heart,

to convince her of my love

I know not where to start.

I want her, I need her

as a woman and my wife,

to have and to hold

and to love through out life.

But what do I do

and where to I go,

to make my love happy

and let her smile show.

Gary R. Cramer

June 11, 1981

It’s Here Again

It’s here again

her date of birth,

the renewal of sorrow

missing her mirth.

Once in an elevator

a lady with grace,

looked at her and said

“you have a kind face”.

Together they shared

their own Camelot,

she was his queen

he loved her a lot.

In the quest for sleep

he would snuggle with her,

his arm encircling

leaving the day in a blur.

So many years

waking up with her there,

gently rolling over

to smell her hair.

The persistent pains

anchored in his heart,

the cost of love

moving off the chart.

He still remembers

shared time in their bed,

memories bouncing around

nestled inside his head.

The numerous times

they traveled on trips,

to far away places

even a few on ships.

It saddens him so

her family quiet,

like she never was

them on an emotional diet.

She was so giving

caring to a fault,

how could they stop

with a heartless halt.

The truth seems apparent

they got what they wanted,

greed without end

such selfishness undaunted.

Gary R. Cramer

March 13, 2022