Body Decay

What are these pains

I’m feeling each day,

is my body decaying

in yet another way.

First it was my teeth

giving in to the fight,

a garden of cavities

a dentist’s delight.

At last I think

I’ve saved what’s left,

but a mouth full of fillings

gives a jaw some heft.

Then it was the hair

I always wanted more,

but with rising age

it only grew on the floor.

I brush and shampoo

using warm and hot,

waging a war against

a shiny bald spot.

With all my efforts

I have little to show,

all I’ve accomplished is

to make my forehead grow.

Next was my belt line

always growing in girth,

making me ponder

am I going to give birth.

Like a museum my

wardrobe tells a story,

showing belts 32 to 44

a waist with no glory.

Once had bulk of muscle

from lifting weights,

now turned to fat

can life have worse fates.

Now a little work

around the yard,

and my body is screaming

from moving all the lard.

At one time I claimed

overweight by 10 percent,

now grown to twenty

A fact I truly resent.

Little by little the

body gives up the fight,

growing more and more tired

and earlier in the night.

But still there is hope

I won’t give up on me,

I still have my hearing

and I can even see.

Maybe next the muscles

they feel so tender,

no not my memory

but I can’t remember.

Gary R. Cramer

July 20, 1987

Away For So Long For My Step-Daughter

Away for so long

and now I’m back,

are they still my friends

or will they attack.

Before I left

I was really cool,

we ran together

and got by in school.

Sure there were others

worked and studied hard,

no smokes or drinks

they stayed on guard.

Who was wrong

and who was right,

all that mattered

was party out of sight.

Away I went

to another place,

to clean up my act

and find some space.

Well now I’m back

and I feel clean,

not all trashed out

and feeling mean.

Feeling alone and

wanting to fit in,

I miss old friends

resistance may be thin.

If there is one thing

I must discover,

it’s my self esteem

I need to recover.

I’ve grown a lot

with reflections of the past,

the lessons were hard

the knowledge will last.

It hurts to think

I may lose those friends,

but then real friends

are there till the end.

Through out a life

many people come and go,

there’s always so many

more good ones to know.

Do I go with the old

or should I seek out new,

I must take my time

and be sure of what I do.

I can hope for the best

or just wait and see,

whatever their choice

I must be true to me.

Friendship is valued

but real love is gold,

my family is behind me

and they love me I’m told.

Gary R. Cramer

June 12, 1987

My Brother

What do you say of a brother

who has mostly lived far away,

deep in my heart I’ve always known

he’s ever with me night and day.

Born ten years apart

from the same Mother,

though different Fathers

he is truly my Brother.

He came from David

and I from Paul,

each had left us

before we grew tall.

Our home life was a war

of conflict and angry yelling,

between gambling and boozing

never a shortage of verbal shelling.

Paradise it wasn’t but

we survived it together,

looking back now it’s amazing

we’re not tougher than leather.

The times he was forced to take me

in tow with his friends and crowd,

each time I’d go beaming as

I gazed at him so very proud.

My brother left early

for love and to marry,

leaving me alone with mom

now that was damned scary.

He’s steady as a rock

although a Republican,

so unique in my life

like an in-flight pelican.

When we shared a bedroom there were

watching him in the dark knowing

so many nights I spent in my bed,

he was there minimized my dread.

How can I thank him

for all that he’s done,

our time shared together

has mostly been fun.

After all of these years the hardest

thing to accept is the notion,

that the times we now spend together

seem void of real emotion.

I know in my heart we share

a most special love and bond,

but when we talk it seems

so guarded and unfound.

We talk of this and that and

what’s happened to us recently,

but seldom of memories and feelings

and what we hold inside so intently.

When death has come as it must

the thing I’ll most regret,

are the times not spent together

and all those things we left unsaid.

I do love you so Frank. Thank you for being my brother.

Gary R. Cramer

October 3, 2004

And now that you’re gone I truly miss you Bro!

November 27, 2018