My Sister Is Dying

My sister is dying

that we know so well,

some of us know

but how do you tell?

It’s not for gossip

that I wish to talk,

only for the love

and to relieve the shock.

She is so giving

and her favors are endless,

so why take her

it seems so very senseless.

Thought to be cancer

it’s the same old story,

so many are lost

in their prime and glory.

There’s a need to visit

say how sorry I am,

but that’s so empty

said to a dying woman.

The times were many

that a visit was due,

now the time is short

God what can I do?

The guilt is deep

that I feel right now,

not just these thoughts

but my neglect and how.

Sure there were times

when she seemed a pain,

but not with intent

not a thing to gain.

She was always so busy

an inspiration to us all,

never a moments waste

not a challenge too tall.

I want to help her

yet leave her the space,

to give her a path

to finish out her race.

We never said much

I want her to know,

I am her friend

and I love her so.

From time to time

we all have this trouble,

but how to proceed

pick through this life’s rubble.

There’s still one chance

to change grief to bliss,

I can only pray

that my friend reads this.

My sister is dying

that we know so well,

some of us know

but how do we tell.

Rewritten and dedicated to my

sister-in-law, Carol Fay Wallior

May you rest in peace with family

And Beth. Thank you for all the

laughs the four of us shared.

Gary R. Cramer

August 13, 2023

What If

What if

when you went

to sleep, you dreamed

that you were in

heaven. There, you

walked through a

field of the most

beautiful roses you

had ever seen. When

you awaken, lying

next to you was

one of those roses.

Author Unknown

Why?

Why does love always

require some sacrifice,

making us a gambler

tossing out the dice.

I’m not a diamond

but certainly not coal,

with so much to give

from a warm loving soul.

A fair number of women

over the many years,

more often than not

causing gut wrenching tears.

Is grief always the

price we pay for love,

hoping for the blessing

from an angel above.

Yes I know well…

I’m sounding so angry,

while looking for love

seems so very contrary.

But stop for a minute

and view from here,

I was thirty-four

before I married in fear.

She was twice married

widowed from the last,

a 12 ga shotgun

left her soul aghast.

She seemed so frail

a child in her care,

oft times looking about

in a trance like stare.

She carried a burden

of a childhood gone wrong,

leaving her empty with

a heart lacking its song.

We met one day

with mutual friends

a glimmer of a spark

leaving me without ends.

Something from within

called for a knight,

to chase ghosts away

haunting her in the night.

I reached out to her

took her under my wing,

little by little her heart

again began to sing,

Twenty-three years

spent focusing on her,

losing my dreams

becoming more unsure.

Yet the voice repeated

you love her so,

the path I chose

I was destined to go.

But her child grew up

with hatred in her heart,

I was the her enemy

doomed from the start.

My lady did listen

to her own daughter,

and I was led

to my unjust slaughter.

But we were truly soul

mates from the start,

again we connected

heart to lonely heart.

But fate stepped in

and she had cancer,

again slipping from

my grasp without answer.

Now I’m so very lost

searching for another,

feeling totally adrift

like a childless mother.

I’m no longer complete

just craving more,

needing that partner to

make my life soar.

Where are you hiding

I’m waiting for you,

reach out and take

my hand erasing the blue.

It’s more than want

I need you to live,

come into my life

and to you I’ll give.

Gary R. Cramer

May 8, 2022