I'm a U. S. Navy Vietnam Veteran

My half-brother’s father and my father both served in WW II and the Korean War.

My brother, Frank, and I each followed tradition by joining the U. S. Navy at later dates.

Taps and Amazing Grace have always brought me to tears thinking about my dad dying at age 52 as a migrant farm worker all alone in a tiny shack with just his puppy outside whining to be fed. They didn’t find dad inside for three days because they all thought he had gone off on another toot. I suspect his liver finally just dissolved or exploded from all the alcohol consumption. This has always struck me as ironic and an example of what booze can do to a life. My father used to be a Lineman for PG&E and a damned good one. One of my fondest memories of him is watching him climb with such ease up and down those wooden telephone poles. I beamed with pride and a huge smile as his foreman proclaimed to another worker one day my dad was the “best damned lineman they had anywhere in the company”.

Later he became a fully licensed Electrician and even helped wire the big Mormon Temple in the Oakland hills where he took me for a tour before it opened, proudly telling everyone I was his son. And later he opened his own TV/Radio Repair shop in Oakland off High St. So he was far from ignorant. And now he lies in an unmarked grave on Potters Hill in Traverse City, Michigan, a fact I hope to remedy some day; because he should be in Arlington Memorial Cemetery. Such a very sad waste and end of a real warrior who as a Torpedoman’s Mate, with his team, on the USS Princeton (CV-37) aircraft carrier were responsible for modifying torpedoes that took out the Hwacheon Dam in Korea via one of the first airborne torpedoes for that use, and turned the tides of the war…

And I’m proud to say most of the men in our family since have also served. I volunteered at age 17, so young, innocent and naïve. That’s certainly NOT the way I came out. As a 2-tour, Vietnam, brown water US Navy veteran who was in gunnery aboard two LST’s over a two year period I recognize that most civilians have absolutely no concept of what it's like in a conflict other than from movies that often sugar coat it. My first onboard duty was on a ship in the middle of a tropical typhoon between the Philippines and Vietnam. The USS Ft. Marion (LSD-22) rolled within one degree of capsizing. One night, while serving on the USS Polk County (LST-1084), we were beached when an VC attack hit in the dark of night with bullets and rockets flying everywhere and star shells illuminating soldiers running for cover. Since I was in Gunnery as a Fire Control Technician, my General Quarters location was on the bow near our front guns where I could watch the whole thing. Another time, while entering a Vietnam river, the LST behind us was hit by an enemy rocket. Luckily it was a dud and didn’t explode. There was the constant beat day and night of bombs going off in the distance and sometimes close by. To this day the sound of an overhead helicopter or diesel engine takes me back there. I watched two marines ready to kill each other with their combat knives in our mess line over the last cookie.

When you pull the trigger on a 40mm or 3” 50 gun, as I have, the shockwaves vibrate and rock you to the bone. Among other things I was ordered to do, I’ve had to point a loaded gun at innocent children to warn them away from our ship while they were in wooden float bowl boats begging for food. I’ve walked among them in their towns hoping none of them would pull the pin on a grenade and toss it in my direction as I passed by. So many of my fellow veterans and friends experienced a whole lot worse so I’m one of the lucky ones. I made it home safe and sound with all my body parts working. I wish I could post a video, that came with an original email to me, on my FB page but I don’t seem to be able to. It shows actual film footage of a 1945 attack off the coast of Okinawa on the USS Laffey that survived 22 Kamikaze pilots and their planes by not sinking. But it still cost many brave American sailors their lives and massive damage to the ship.

Some people protest my wearing an American flag pin upside down-an international sign of distress. I feel our country is truly in distress at this time. A lot of US veterans are starting to do this not out of disrespect, but instead to demonstrate their love and concern for their country. Life will teach you cannot pacify a bully. Most veterans understand, "If you want peace, prepare for war".

If I have upset you with these memories, I sincerely apologize as that was not my intent. Nor am I asking for your recognition or sympathy. But please take a moment to acknowledge those who put it all on the line to serve and protect us. When you pass a armed service member, or for that matter any firefighter or law enforcement officer, take a minute to stop and thank each and every one of them for risking their lives for your freedom and safety.

God Bless America and those who have served and those who continue to serve in her military. Happy Memorial Day one and all. Appreciate your freedom because of the many who have sacrificed for it. All gave some and some gave all.

Gary R. Cramer

May 28, 2016

Shop of Hope and Dreams

Shop of Hope and Dreams

NOTE: This is dedicated to Carol Wade-Lundberg.

A most special friend, Creative Writing Mentor and Muse.

Forever Remembered.

This will all probably seem equally befuddling to you as it has been to me. Thank you for traveling with me on this experience.

One day without explanation I found myself in what appeared to be an alley shop in a large city. Maybe it was in Paris, Berlin, New York or even San Francisco. I’m not at all certain any more. Yet it felt like a smaller more intimate village regardless of where it was. And it had all the mystique of Hogsmeade in the Harry Potter books. It was to the point that I instinctively wanted to reach to assure I had my trusty wand.

I found myself in what appeared to be some sort of antique shop that you would more likely materialize or float into rather than walk. The sign out front declared it Shop of Dreams. This should have been my first warning to be careful as I entered. With each step the hair on the back of my neck raised up further. The shop offered a wide scope of items such as jewelry, clothing items, accessories, furniture, lamps and much more; all of which were either new or used but mostly used. I gazed across the shop to see the familiar face of my lady friend. We had known each other for years and we maintained more of a sister brother relationship that never seemed to blossom into a more intimate bond with benefits. She was aimlessly wandering about the shop intently browsing through each and every item with that unique feminine urge to reach out to touch and feel anything of interest as if she was communing with it, sensing where it came from and each prior owner of it. From time to time she would look up at me with an adoring smile.

As I silently observed her, I sensed rather than saw a presence come up beside me. Then I heard the most soft and gentle voice tell the owner she would like to sell an item. Without being too obvious I tried to watch out of the corner of my peripheral vision but decided to amble around the corner of the display case to better observe what I discovered was a lady with an aura of red hair and deep green eyes. Her hand that surely was at home on piano keys reached out with long agile fingers and gently placed a small velvet pouch on the glass countertop. She opened it like it was a delicate and precious part of her very own soul. It had the look of gold in the shape of an orb with etching on it and I could swear to this day that it not only shined, but also seemed to vibrate from within. The clerk smiled and commented that he was used to her bringing in such items but this one seemed of a higher value. She nodded and told him in a low tone that it was most complex and difficult for her to obtain. He wrote down an amount and passed it over to her. She nodded and said that was fair and for the amount to be added to her account balance. She glanced up and as our eyes met for the first time I felt invaded yet at the same time welcomed and accepted. I instantly and with much effort dragged my vision back down to vague items in front of me under the glass display case trying not to seem interested in her. I have no doubt that I was flushed in the face as I desperately tried to look casual and uninterested.

In what must have been mere moments, but seemed like an eternity, she was next to me. Without looking at me she asked if I had been here before. I replied without looking up with a simple “No.”, wondering where my gift of speech had gone. She let out a low laugh that more resembled the sound like a dove cooing and she smiled. She motioned for the owner to come over and remove a pendent so she could inspect it more closely. He did and then went over to my lady friend to see if she needed any assistance.

She picked up the item and turned it over and over while almost caressing it. Suddenly she opened my hand and placed it there while not removing her own hand. I felt an amazingly strong surge of energy rush through my body like a jolt of lightning or the returning tide of the ocean. She asked if I felt anything and again with the inability to communicate I simply nodded. She whispered to me that I was special because most were unable to feel such things. We stood there next to each other almost holding hands while looking at this pendent. She gently took the pendent and while showing me different aspects of it’s craftsmanship the pin inadvertently opened and pierced my palm causing blood to appear. Without warning she drew my hand up and gently licked the blood away with a gentle sucking of her lips. As she removed my hand, she said she was sorry if she hurt me. I simply shook my head while I became totally engulfed in vertigo and understanding what it must feel like to be a mute.

For the next several minutes I have no concept of what either of us said when suddenly I heard the words, “Would you like to come to my studio and see some of my collection?” I faltered like a child with the first excited opportunity to taste Spumoni ice cream, pizza or see Santa Claus. I instantly looked up and across the shop to my friend who was talking to the owner while she curiously observed me with a smirk on her face and raised eyebrows. I finally stuttered out “I’m with her”. She again let out that cooing sound and said she was already aware of that.

She then asked if I would be interested if my friend was ok with it. My mind jumped on the cranial brake pedal with both astral feet as I skidded hopelessly out of control. My reply was, “Um, I guess so if she really doesn’t mind”. She smiled and said she would be right back. And before I could stop her, she was next to my companion quietly discussing what I feared would be the unset of a violent death at my friend’s hands. But to my total amazement she looked across to me and simply nodded with a tilted head and conflicted look and lowered her head while continuing to browse the shop never once looking back at me. I had the instant feeling of just having shot a beautiful deer as a tear slowly rolled down both her cheek and mine.

My newly found muse returned with a smile, entwined our arms and said, “Well that’s taken care of, and quite easily I might add, shall we go”. What, I pondered, had just happened and was my life about to completely derail. We walked out of the shop, which I failed to read the name of, and walked hand in hand as she navigated me through narrow streets and alleyways. When finally we stopped I was looking at what must be one of the most ornate wooden carved doors in the world. I stood there, slack jawed, as she gently traced the carvings with her fingers and explained that a prior acquaintance and lover had carved it for her. She then took a deep breath and turned to look deeply into my eyes while she held both of my hands in hers. “Now this is important and you must not be afraid”, she said. As I started to withdraw my hands, she held fast with such gentle strength that I froze instantly. She then took an ear bud and placed it in my left ear while she explained for security reasons there was only room for one person to pass at a time to enter her studio. So she would go first and then direct me remotely through the ear bud. She would be on the other end and there was absolutely no danger to me. She gently gave me a small kiss and disappeared behind the door as I wondered if I had just become the latest shmuck to be taken in by this scam.

Her voice suddenly drifted into my ear as she asked if I was still OK. I nodded and she said “good”. I then realized there was a security camera camouflaged above the door. As she instructed me how to open the door by twisting the knob in a series of turns and twists to the left and right, I hesitantly complied. She explained she had a very complex security system due to the value of what she collected. Once inside she apologized for the darkened state but there was an electrical problem and the lights were out. Again, a big internal warning said STOP! I felt I should retreat but suddenly realized I couldn’t find the doorknob. I took a large shaky breath as she told me how to advance down what felt like carpeted walls. I had that uneasy feeling like walking into a movie theater after the previews had started, half seeing but mostly feeling my way to my unknown destination. Again it was a series of left and right turns given to me verbally. At the end of the trek she instructed me to stand still on the swivel base and using the walls to rotate by hand, gave me what appeared to be random lefts and rights again. Suddenly and slowly I felt the wall open and I edged inside a darkened space. I heard her tell me to relax as a hand removed the ear bud and I felt her hands once again in mine and she gave me that gentle kiss again.

As I tried to adjust to what had just occurred, I had such an extreme range of expectations and doubts race through my nervous mind and I thought about the last time I saw my lady friend in the shop lowering her head. My new muse now explained my eyes would slowly adjust to the light level as the room slowly lit up and I realized there were no windows. The surrounding walls appeared carpeted. For the first time in many minutes I took in a slow deep breath. She excused herself and shortly returned in a loose fitting long flowing satin kaftan and two crystal glasses of red wine that I found too far surpass the $600 per bottle that I once enjoyed in Palm Springs with a past employer and friend. It was the first time I’d had any alcohol pass my lips in over four years. And it tasted even more deliriously better after she gave me one of her now oh so familiar and gentle kisses.

My new Shadow Avvie gave me a guided tour of what seemed more like a private museum complete with gentle background jazz instrumental music and soft alcove lighting that activated upon each of our stops to highlight the item. By now my nerves were totally abated and I felt oddly like I was finally in a place I belonged for the first time since I took my first SCUBA dive off the northern coast of California.

She suddenly stopped, looking at me with a questionable scowl. I braced myself not knowing if I had bad breath or had just committed some sort of faux pas. She looked me up one side and down the other as she slowly circled me like a hungry cougar on the hunt for fresh prey. She slowly shook her head and proclaimed this most certainly could not work like this. And before I could object she gently removed my vest and undid several of the top most buttons of my shirt. She next pushed me down into a chair that I was unaware of prior to this. She placed her wine glass on a small table and proceeded to gently remove my leather sandals and caress each foot. As she drew me back up into a standing position with a warm inviting smile, she snuggled in close and placed her head on my newly exposed moderate hairy chest and asked, “Now, isn’t that much better Mon Doux Amour?”. She turned her head and slowly inhaled my male hormonal scent exploding from every pore of my now surging body. We held each other for God knows how long. Slowly we shifted into a slow easy dance motion with wine glasses in hand as we embraced each other. It was as if the two of us were merging into one entity.

I had no idea by now what time it was let alone whether it was day or night. I slowly realized we had transitioned into another room complete with a large bed in the middle of the room that appeared to float from the ceiling because it hung from four strong looking chains at each corner of the mattress. I looked down into those soft pools of green eyes and said, “I don’t even know your name Mon Cheri”. She led me to her bed and as she backed me up to the bed she asked, “Does it really matter what name we go by as long as we are real and honest with each other? You can call me Carol, Sarah, Elizabeth, Kathryn, whatever you wish dear heart”. Just be completely open and in this moment.

She slowly removed my Tommy Bahama Hawaiian print shirt and undid the drawstring of my white cotton pants and lowered them to the floor. She backed away to evaluate her work and nodded as she said, “Very nicely put together if I may say so.” I nodded and said, “Thank you, but something is lacking here.” She looked at me quizzically as I slowly approached and bent over to take the bottom of her kaftan and slowly slid it off what I discovered could have been the model for the Venus de Milo statue but with arms. She giggled in what almost sounded like a guttural growl as I slowly slid my hands about her exquisite form exploring all areas as I turned her back to the bed and knelt down in front of her. As I proceeded to explore certain areas in an effort to satisfy her, first with my hands followed by my tongue, she slowly eased backward onto the bed while at the same time drawing me with her without losing any one on one contact. It was then I realized we were on satin sheets that matched her kaftan. As I felt her soft warm smooth skin touch both of my cheeks, I reached upward to gently caress each of her breasts. I gazed up into those glorious green eyes and as I tweaked each nipple I heard her emit a small but growing purring sound followed by a sensual moan.

Without going into more vivid detail, let me just tell you we explored each other’s body like starving castaways discovering a newly found deserted island that provided all the fruits and temptations we could possibly imagine or desire. We shared various oasis’s of pleasure repeatedly and literally shared the horizons of satisfaction as we soared together into paradise. It was with so little effort that we achieved apex after apex until we lay totally spent. I recall us together entwined in each other’s arms and legs as we drifted off to glorious dreams spent together and feeling I was at last whole and complete in my life.

I awoke slowly the next day to find I was alone and now the windows I could swear weren’t there the night before allowed warm rays of sunshine to invade the room. I found a note on the pillow next to me with a rose and small tray of coffee, juice and fresh cut melon in champagne. I called out “Hello?” in a desperate attempt hoping she would re-enter the room and my life. But I remained alone. As I sipped the juice and coffee in between the fruit I read her note.

“ Good morning dear heart. I must most graciously thank you for the once in a lifetime most amazing night of my life that we just shared. I hope you had an equal experience and you feel much better about where life has brought you and to me. About now I know you must have many questions. You must step forward onto life’s path to find the answers. I tell you that we are soul mates and you will always be a part of my heart and soul as I will reside in yours. Our kind of love will endure many lifetimes and in each instance we shall cross paths again and again into eternity. Do not be saddened by my apparent exit and absence as I am there with you even when not seen. You asked me at one point last night what my name is. You can call me Hope! Have a glorious life my love. Pls.. Stay the same. Keep up the Love & you.”

I sat there in shock and disbelief as I repeatedly read her note. I cried, I laughed, I sobbed uncontrollably. In the end, I showered, dressed and entered the narrow ally way through a newly found door not knowing where I was going or doing next. A block away, I decided to go back and for the life of me I could not find that door again. I sagged to the sidewalk against a wall and again sobbed like a newborn babe. How could I continue life without her beside me?

Suddenly I caught a whiff of her scent enveloping me. I instantly knew where I had to go next. I rushed up and down streets and alleys like a madman who had misplaced his wallet until I found that familiar shop front. I entered and there was the same man alone inside. I shyly explained to him briefly what had transpired since I left yesterday and asked where my lady friend that I first entered the store with had gone. He looked at me for a long time before he told me she simply seemed to disappear. One moment she was there and the next she was gone.

I then inquired about the green eyed red head I had left his store with the day before. He looked at me strangely and asked what I was talking about. He told me I simply walked out the door alone. By now I was becoming slightly convinced I was going insane. I demanded to know who she was and how often she came into his store. He repeatedly claimed he had no idea of whom I was referring to. In frustration, I walked toward the front door but as I did, I noticed one of the display cases held the pendent and numerous velvet pouches. I called the man over, who by now was unnerved by me. I asked if I could look at some of the pouches and he brought several of them up to the surface of the glass case. Each one had a note tied to the drawstring with a unique knot. And each time I tried to open one, it refused to yield to me. He watched me with an amused expression. Finally I just stopped and looked at him. He chuckled and said he had seen this happen many times. And very rarely had a customer been able to open any of them. Once and only once it happened. The customer discovered a very tarnished looking gold orb. The customer exclaimed that he was somehow familiar with this object but now it seemed heavy, dark and foreboding. The customer insisted he had to have it again and after much arguing he finally bought it and rushed out of the store. The clerk stood there very sadly with his head moving from side to side. I asked why he was doing that. He told me weeks later he left the shop to find that same person sitting up against the wall with a half empty bottle of Cognac and he looked like hell. He heard the man later took his own life. The clerk handed me his business card and it simply stated Shop of Hope and Dreams, Proprietor: Mr. Dreams. No address or phone number was listed. And he wished me good luck in my quest.

I thanked him for his patience and dejectedly started for the front door again. As I was about to leave, he called out and said, “You know, some things in life are so precious you only find them once and should cherish them through all of time. Others, once experienced should be left alone but other treasures existed on lifes path”.

I had an idea and went back to him. I explained I understood about privacy with his customers but asked if he would simply look in his account file and tell me simply yes or no if he had an account under the name of Hope. He thought a moment and said he didn’t have to look. He knew there was one such account but he couldn’t tell me anything more other than it was noted at the bottom of it that she had unlimited credit. As I started to ask about the client, he raised his hand and said he couldn’t say anything more.

Now I know you are going to think I’ve hit the bottle again when I tell you this one last thing. But after leaving and going a block, I decided to go back and buy one of those velvet pouched gold orbs. And I swear on my parents and grand parents graves, I could not find it again no matter how long I looked. I even went into various shops near where I was certain it had been and showed them the business card. They each repeatedly told me the same thing. People showed up from time to time with the same card. Their answer was always the same. There was rumor that many years ago there was a shop here by that name. All they had heard was that the proprietor’s last name was Dreams.

Thank you for sharing this with me. I hope you will find an opportunity in the near future to share another with me.

Live each day as if it was your last. Be happy, be healthy, find beauty and love in each day. Then find someone special to share it all with. I hope you never lose your Hope and Dreams. It’s debilitating to lose yourself with nothing to look forward to!

“Keep up the Love & you.”

Gary R. Cramer

August 17, 2016

The Vessel

The Vessel

(That can take you somewhere other than where you are.)

It was just another crap day in my life filled with bills, obligations and responsibilities. It was one that made me feel like I resided in the La Brea Tar Pits. I was feeling old and alone. But I was more than grateful because I was so much better off than a lot of other people. I lived in my home state of California and I owned everything I had free and clear. I was well liked and respected. But there was always that “something” missing; that “empty, incomplete” feeling. I had decided to venture out of my nest aka house for a change of pace. As I wandered the sidewalks of my first and only retirement community, I was reminded of how much I hated living there. And almost without exception everyone I saw intensified that feeling.

As I tried to escape through daydreaming and with my iPhone serenading me, I noticed a very unique vehicle pull up along side me. It looked more like a sailing ship or vessel than a limousine with the unique flow of lines in the body. It was like a cross between a Bat-Mobile, Harry Potter and Peter Pan. The windows were all so darkly tinted that I was prevented from seeing who, or what…, was inside. At first I just kept walking but it kept pace with me for about half a block. I finally stopped and approached the vehicle with as much curiosity as trepidation and just maybe a touch of fear.

I knocked on the passenger window but instead of the window going down, the door opened. As I gazed inside all I could see was a driver in a chauffeur’s uniform. But not just any uniform. It was very stylized with accents of what appeared to be real gold trim highlighted by what appeared to be various gems such as rubies, emeralds, sapphires and diamonds.

Taken back a bit by the whole thing, I inquired if I could help him. The reply was, “I’m here to deliver you per your request”. It was then that I realized the driver was a woman. I said, “I’m sorry but you must have the wrong person because I didn’t request a ride now or ever”. She smiled coyly and said, “I get that a lot”. But trust and believe me Gary, you asked for this ride”.

Well, being the cautious man I am, we bantered back and forth for about 5 minutes. And in that time she continually revealed more about me than even I had remembered. So with much concern and confusion I entered the car. Instantly the windows blacked out and I was pushed back into the seat from the force of the acceleration. It was as if I was in an Apollo rocket lifting off from Cape Canaveral.

When we stopped the windows slowly became transparent again and I found myself looking out onto a most beautiful island complete with palm, banana, coconut trees, monkeys and parrots.

At this point the redheaded driver exited the car in her full uniform. But as she opened the door to allow me to depart she now was in a muumuu that accentuated every curve, nook, and cranny of her exquisitely well-tanned figure. As I half stumbled out of the limo like a drunken sailor I asked her what had happened to her uniform. She simply giggled, winked one of her emerald green eyes and motioned for me to follow her.

But I was hesitant because I was so confused about the who, what, where, when, why and how I had arrived here. She returned and stood directly in front of me and was so close I could smell her fragrant island perfume wafting off her soft skin that was covered in tiny moist droplets of perspiration from the tropical humidity and heat. And I had very little doubt that she didn’t hear my heart wildly beating out a jungle beat all it’s own that must have equated to Gene Krupa having a seizure on the drums. And to make matters worse my soul wanted to drift into a solo of “Sing Sing Sing”. It was then that she gently took each of my hands in hers and softly told me, “You must trust me when I tell you there is nothing here that will harm you or for you to fear. This is all in response to your request”. Once again I tried in vane to explain I had NOT asked for any of this. But she simply leaned forward and gave me a heart-stopping kiss on the cheek and told me I had indeed requested all of this and that it was long overdue.

Needless to say any fear I had been hiding rapidly disappeared as I trailed behind her like a lost puppy dog longing for his next bone. As we progressed along the densely filled jungle on a well-manicured path we traversed through various little villages. Each one seemed to specialize in something. One had villagers making hats made of straw and various other items of similar material as well as flower leis. Another was populated with natives making carved wooden utensils. While another was busy smoking fish, cooking all variety of meats in rock lined earthen pits or on hand rotated spits. To my added delight from the time we entered a village until we departed I was presented with the “specialty of the house” from each village. In return all I was asked for is a smile or laugh along with a genuine hug to my benefactors.

After about a 45 minute walk she explained we were about half way to our destination but as we approached a body of water with a magnificent flowing waterfall cascading down the rocky fern laden cliffs she said we should take a break and go swimming to refresh ourselves. And when we exited the water there would be a small collection of island treats for us to feast on. So we both disrobed down to what I discovered was floral swimwear. Well this confused me even more because I had NEVER bought or worn such a swimsuit and couldn’t for the life of me explain how I was in a pair now. But true to her word we swam, floated and splashed while laughing like children on spring break. And as we walked out there before us was the promised “island treats” with fresh fruits, edible flowers and more. To my delight she explained it was an island to tradition to hand feed each other as an expression of trust and friendship. After she had delicately slipped one of the sweetest strawberries I’d ever tasted into my mouth, I was about to return the favor when I suddenly realized I had no idea what her name was. When I asked she replied that they called her Happy. As I half choked and half laughed, I exclaimed that I could certainly see why. She again gave that tantalizing giggle of hers and while blushing she again leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek after saying thank you.

It was now an hour after leaving the water that we were full and dried off by the gentle tropical breezes and persistent sun. She arose, took my hands and helped me up explaining we should make haste or we would be late. When I asked late for what, she winked and said I’d find out soon enough. So off we went again into the jungle with my leather knapsack of village gifts. After about another 45 minutes we approached a substantial peninsula that jutted out into a most beautiful saltwater cove. At the end was a well designed thatched mini-bungalow made of bamboo, palm and banana leaves and other indigenous plants. It was complete with a dugout canoe pulled up on the beach. As I got closer I realized the canoe had outriggers and was equipped with sails as well as paddles. Next to the bungalow was a variety of equipment for hunting and fishing. And the final observation was a sign over the front door that simply said, “Gary”. As I stood there with my mouth hung wide open like an idiot she came up to me, slid her arm around my waist and asked if I liked it. Like it? I said. Good grief what’s NOT to like and to be honest it’s almost perfect and right out of a dream. She pointed out that the way the peninsula was pointed I’d be able to see the sunrise in the morning and the sunsets at night. In addition there was a freshwater stream from the central part of the island that would supply clean cold water for drinking as well as keeping some food items cold.

I was so overwhelmed that I fell to my knees and sobbed with joy. Happy quickly joined me and asked what was wrong. There was no commute traffic, no smell of auto exhaust, nobody to hate or resent and none of the pressures I had been surviving where I was living. My response was, “But why me? Why now?” Happy put her arms around me and explained that I had subconsciously, through my dreams, asked for all of this so I could start to live instead of simply survive.

I was totally overcome with so many conflicting feelings.

What about my brothers’ family? What about the people that relied on me to help them all the time? What about the bills that will need paying? She said that is all in the past now and all you have to do is be happy too. In my confusion I was floundering. “Be happy too?” What does that mean? And she cupped my face in her hands and said I could be “happy” with her if I wished that to be also. I became totally lost in those emerald green eyes and as we each leaned forward our lips met in a most tender and loving kiss.

We spent the rest of the day orientating ourselves to the surroundings together. As the sun began to set I built a fire on the West side of the peninsula on the beach. And as the sun slowly melted into the horizon on the edge of the ocean we embraced and held each other is such an amazing moment.

As we lay on the beach she rolled over onto her side and asked me, “How are you Gary?”. I smiled, giggled and winked and replied, “I’m Happy”…

We strolled back to the bungalow with our arms around each other’s waist and I had the best nights sleep I had ever imagined with a green eyed red headed lady named Happy next to me.

In the morning after I made her breakfast and coffee I went outside and took the “Gary” sign down. She looked very upset, confused and worried as I walked off down the beach a ways. I came back a short time later to find her crying until I turned it over and she saw what I had carved on the other side as I rehung it. It stated “HAPPY x 2”. And we went snorkeling with some dolphins…

Gary R. Cramer

June 9, 2018