Hi Dad

It’s taken too long

this is way overdue,

so many times I’ve

wished to talk with you.

But you weren’t here

I had lost you twice,

a son needs his dad

that would have been nice.

The first time you left

I was only twelve,

leaving me so empty

feelings never to shelve.

Again it happened in ‘76

at the age of 52,

you had died alone

only your puppy and you.

Not found for three days

your stomach distended,

very little doubt it was

the booze why you ended.

I had very little choice

trying to blaze my own trail,

without you in my life

I was left feeling so frail.

I’ve missed you so much

in every way,

always feeling incomplete

both night and day.

To talk about girls,

would have been nice,

to have played catch

more than once or twice.

But there were more important

things I needed from you,

a fatherly hug or a kiss

an “I’m so proud of you”.

There were too many times

when you scared your son,

good times too few

yet we had some fun.

Memory so strong

a day I remember most

you, Mom and I fishing

from rocks at the coast.

You baited my hooks

you cast line for me,

but how was I to know

it all came with a fee.

I kept losing my bait

my hook was unloaded,

then you lost your temper

once again you exploded.

Tossing all our gear

out into the ocean,

with nary a thought

without any notion.

The night Mom sent me

into that dark bar,

to find and fetch you

out into our car.

She drove away

me without a vote,

you told her to stop

your knife to my throat.

All to often I’d dream

of you back in our den,

together a family

starting all over again.

Because you see as

your son I’m still proud,

you’re always my dad

I’ll shout it out loud.

What I wouldn’t give

for again us to meet,

because without you

I’m eternally incomplete.

I still love and miss you Dad!

Gary R. Cramer

June 15, 2018