Today I Think I Died A Little

Of this traveled rough road

There is no middle,

Today I think

I died a little.

She came into this world

So tiny and pure,

She had captured my heart

Of that I’m sure.

I watched and marveled

As she started to grow,

From the very beginning

She had a special glow.

Those first little sounds

So short and simple,

She was so very angelic

Right down to her dimple.

Then came the movements

That started with a reach,

As she began her journey

And what life would teach.

Then there was the step

The beginning of her path,

That turned into running

And made us all laugh.

When she looked at the world

For the first time to see,

What I had taken for granted

She observed with glee.

I never had a choice

There was never a doubt,

I loved her so much

I wanted to proudly shout.

When she held my hand

I became her white knight,

I vowed to the universe

For her I would fight.

I tried so hard

To give her what I could,

Not just money and things

But love, values and good.

Together we grew

More like one than two,

I felt a bond so strong

Of two souls in life’s glue.

I wanted to protect her

Keep her from evil and harm,

I’d have given up my life

At the first sound of her alarm.

I longed to teach her

All the things about life,

How to avoid the pitfalls

And dodge the strife.

And yet it was her

With her eyes so bright,

That she became the teacher

And taught me delight.

But in her early teens

Things started to change,

She learned through lies and to hate

And we became estranged.

I don’t know what she was told

To make her hate me so,

I’m at a total loss for words

When she told me to go.

I was there to support her

Tell her she was doing great,

But her response to me

Was SHUT UP and a loud break.

It was the sound of my soul

That had just come apart,

It wept soulful tears

My poor aching empty heart.

How do I exist

And continue to live,

What’s the purpose of life

With no love to give.

She walked up so grown up

And said she hated me,

And my world collapsed

And I wanted to flee.

I tried to tell her

She didn’t know what was real,

But her mind had been twisted

By another’s lies and evil spiel.

My only hope for now

Is that she will grow up some day,

And our paths will again cross

So she can hear what I have to say.

I still love her as much

As I did that little girl,

I’ll always be her Pop Pop

Because she’s a big part of my world.

Now I’m so lost

Not able to see her smile,

I’m like a dying man

Walking his last mile.

Of this traveled rough road

There is no middle,

Today I think

I died a little.

Gary Cramer October 8, 2009